Written by Peter Gailunas
(originally posted in the spring)
It has become apparent in my neighborhood that people are tired of dog poop. Signs stating this fact have popped up all over the block where I live and the sentiment of the signs are all the same – kindly pick up after your dog – well some of the signs aren’t always worded so nice.
Less than half a block away is a cute little almost country-kitchen type of sign – the type of sign that you might find in a gift shop. It’s wooden and painted red with black happy writing. It reads, “No dumping” with a tiny doggy paw print. Across the street, there is a handwritten note on cardboard thumb-tacked to a tree. “Please pick up after your dog.” Firm and to the point. Around the corner and up a private driveway where a boat is stored in colder weather, is another handwritten sign. This one has writing in black sharpie marker. “Pick up the dog sh_t. A_ _ hole!” I like how the author didn’t want to fully commit to the obscenities but instead let the reader fill in the blanks and make their own conclusions. But honestly, who lets a dog off its leash to run up someone’s driveway to poop? Most likely the same person who watches the dog take a big, steaming dump and leaves it there.
The issues
On of my neighbors from up the street has an ongoing issue with dog poop in front of his house. Each morning, when he leaves his house, he finds of a large pile of dog crap. That’s no way to start a day! He has tried in vain to catch this dog and more so its owner in the act. He has sat in his window late at night and early in the morning. He even had his own version of a stakeout where he laid in waiting in the back seat of his car hidden only by the tinted windows of his SUV. He has his suspicions as to who the dog and owner might be. On his tree is a handmade wooden sign that reads, “Thanks for the dog poop! You jerk!” Not as harsh as the boat owner but no one wants to be called a jerk and as my wife always says, “nobody likes a jerk”. My neighbor’s sign hung proudly on the tree outside his front door until one morning he found it broken in two next to another pile of poop. What a jerk! It has now become my neighbor’s mission in life to find this bastard.
So what kind of person doesn’t pick up after their dog? Even better - what kind of person doesn’t pick up after their dog especially when it’s on the sidewalk in front of someone’s home? A menace to society is what I say. I like to think that most dog owners are good neighbors that would pick up their dog’s poop. That’s part of being a responsible dog owner and a good neighbor. The stereotypical dog lover, like the people involved with the Bark Park certainly don’t seem like the type to do it. They have their little contraption of handy dandy poop bags at the ready. I’ve seen them.
I suspect the type of person that doesn’t pick up after their dog is someone who lives in the neighborhood where you find the poop since it’s my experience as a dog owner to Violet the Pug they pretty much like to poop in the same spot. Now I’m no Cesar Millan - the dog whisperer – but I know the basic habits of dogs such as their sniffing a spot followed by the little doggy circling of the spot before going to the bathroom. So when you see your dog doing this and you don’t have a bag to pick it up, pull him away before he can squat. If you don’t have a bag, take the extra ten minutes to walk to your house, get one and go pick it up.
My own issue
A few years ago, I caught a neighbor leaving his dog’s poop right out in front of my house. It was 10 o’clock on a hot summer’s night and the windows were open. As I was locking the front door and shutting off lights, I heard someone outside and took a look out the window. A 50 year old man with a large build stood by as his little dog took a big dump right out in front of my house where my kids play. I watched and waiting knowing that of course he would remove a bag from his pocket and pick up the poop. But he didn’t he began to walk down the street.
“Pick it up! Pick it up!” I shouted through the open window. He began to quicken his step and turn the corner. Without hesitation, I ran out of the house with no shirt or shoes on and chased him around the corner. When confronted with why didn’t he pick up the poop, he stated he didn’t have a bag. I took him at his word and told him I’d give him one. I ran in the house and grabbed a plastic shopping bag. When I came back, he was still there waiting and he was pissed. He snatched the bag from my hand and said, “You don’t have to make a federal case out of it”. I told him that he was the one who was wrong. He walked away and headed to his house – which was right around the corner from me. That guy was my neighbor.
When I came back in the house, my wife was waiting wondering what I was up to. I explained to her what happened and she then told me the story about her father when she was little. He too was frustrated with dog poop in front of his house. When he would find the dog mess he would shout out to anyone on the block within earshot, “If I find out who is leaving this dog shit, I’m gonna get an elephant and have it take a massive dump in front of your house!” Maybe I should recommend an elephant to my neighbor up the street?
A reminder by Peter Gailunas
On M Street where I live, my family and I had another "run-in" with dog shit last week. I was getting into the car to take the kids to school and then drop my wife to work and as usual we were running 10 minutes behind schedule and I had exactly 2 minutes to drive 8 blocks to the kids' school. As I was helping my youngest son into my truck my older son says, "What smells?" My wife turns around to look and there is dog poop all over the back seat. Not only tracked across the floor mats but it has managed to get on my son Henry's leg. And with that the gagging ensues. All are ordered from the car. My wife runs back into the house for paper towels and plastic bags. I tell my son with the dog shit on his sneaker to stick it in a puddle on the street. My wife wipes away the poop on Henry's leg and off of the car mats. I find a stick to extract the poop stuck in the treads of my son's sneakers. Our schedule has gone out the window. My kids are officially late for school. Suddenly a trip to the car wash is added to my already busy day and I can't help but think this all could have been avoided if some dog owner would have just picked up his dog's shit. So here is a reminder of a blog from last spring.
Friendly warning: To the person who is letting their dog poop in the area directly in front of my house where a city tree once stood, I'm setting up surveillance. Consider yourself caught!
Posted last spring:
Be a good neighbor and don’t be a jerk– pick up the poop!
Comments
poop bags
Thanks for nice sharing
poop bags
TERD!
Peter, as normal, another fantastic read. Though my days of living in Southie have since come and gone and I'm making my way back to the dog shit capital of the world, Manhattan, I would just like to add that since winter is just around the corner or as we would say as kids "shhh, it's around the corner" (for those that didn't grow up Catholic or had more liberal parents than my South Boston bred ones, it was our simple way of "Shhhit!") Anyway, I digress, Winter will soon be upon Southie and I think it's important to remember the simple laws of physics, in this case the simple understanding of temperature indifference, you see, snow must be at least 32 degree F or 0 C to stay as solid, increase the tempature and it will turn to it's liquid state, then it's gas state so on and so on...anyway, not to diviate from the point, it's important to recognize the basic fundamental principles of dog shit, it releases from the dog at a core temp. of 99.5 degree and by the time it travels to the temporary earth called "snow" it only cools by 1 degree, upon the terd hitting it's new home, it immediately battles with it's new enviroment, at first it's easy, the terd is a rabbit, flying through it's adversary's layers, however as the smash is enveloped, the snow's army takes over and it's reinforcements succeed in cooling the terd down to a harmless 32 degrees. Now this is where the problem lays, see, you know your dog just set a landmine (dogs don't fake it, male dogs aren't going to rest their junk in the snow for the "fun of of it and well female...let's move on) So here we are, it happened, you know it did, but like a fart on a train, it's invisable and when that snow melts and the large pile of your life shows itself just know this... when you tell the truth it's part of your past and when you tell a lie, it's apart of your future... don't lie, because you just may step in it, SO PICK IT UP!
I live on M street too and
I live on M street too and have a dog! It's so frustrating to see dog shit on the sidewalk. Especially when I am walking my own dog. Every step is a fight to keep him moving because he wants to eat someone else's dog poop. I have wasted plenty of my own bags picking up others droppings on my own walks and it's frustrating. Have some respect. It's not hard to just put a couple bags in your pocket. If you are walking your dog, why wouldn't you expect that he would take a dump?
Dog mess
It's just dirty, inconsiderate and selfish. I dont even own a dog and find myself picking up at least a pile a day. Once you get used to it, it's like changing a diaper. PLEEEAASE pick up your dog"s poop!
Fine
The fine for being caught leaving poop behind should be $500. THAT would be a sh*tty day for the offender.
poop
Okay folks. Your dogs are cute but the poop is not. Pick it up.And really? Take it home! Don't put in my recycle bin, where I have to dumpster dive and repackage it with my trash.Don't leave sitting against a tree at the beach tied up in a little green bag .What the heck are you thinking? It's a health hazzard, it's disrespectful of your neighbors and you neighborhood and it makes you look ignorant. Have some class. Your pet, your poop.
I always pick it up...
I always pick up after my dog and it drives me nuts when I see others that don't. But I have also be confronted by people while walking my dog who say to me "I hope you are going to pick up after him" or something of the like, without any signs that I won't or do not intend to do so. So add those people to the list of Southie "jerks."
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