Black Friday

written by Heather Foley

There are a lot of things I don’t understand.  Einstein’s theory of relativity, the Cloud, people who like Taylor Swift, and perhaps most baffling of all, Black Friday.  I mean I understand what Black Friday is, it’s the day after Thanksgiving and is generally regarded as the start of the holiday shopping season.  It’s called “Black Friday” because many retailers operate “in the red” prior the holidays and don’t turn a profit until people start their holiday shopping.  But what I don’t get is why anyone in their right mind would willingly participate in the madness.

Let’s be honest, the real Black Friday “deals” are for crap.  No name electronics, Kmart jewelry, junky toys, not exactly the crème de la crème.  I’ve never seen a Black Friday circular and thought “oh my God that’s the exact (insert anything, seriously, any product or item of clothing) I’ve been wanting to buy and now it’s on super duper sale so I’m going to buy it.  Now I’m not saying there isn’t good stuff on sale on Black Friday, but 20% off is nothing to get excited about, never mind wait in line for hours for.  But I guess if you’re in the market for a SOONY flat screen with no warranty you’re in hog heaven.

Hey, those Door Buster Deals, you know why they call them Door Busters?  Because someone will literally bust you on your ass when you try to get through the door.  There have been stabbings in parking lots, riots over waffle makers, and stampedes that have killed people at various stores on Black Friday.  Let me know when J.Crew cashmere is 80% off and I’ll consider getting trampled.

Here’s another thing I don’t get, do people who shop on Black Friday know about Cyber Monday?  Have they ever been to a Marshalls, TJ Maxx, or HomeGoods?  Do they know Black Friday is just the beginning of all the holiday sales?  We live in a world where Macy’s has a one day sale once a week, Amazon has about thirty deals of the day every day,  and if you wait till Christmas Eve to shop, stores are practically giving their crap away, and no one will try to stab you with a screwdriver….probably.  Wake up Black Friday sheeple!  Big box retailers are tricking you into paying $10 for stuff you don’t even want!
Seriously, eff Black Friday, and eff any store that opens on Thanksgiving with a rusty nail.  Black Friday basically sums up everything that’s wrong with this country, so I challenge you to celebrate what’s right.  Skip Black Friday all together (I know I don’t have to tell you to skip Thanksgiving shopping), and spend your money in your own backyard on Small Business Saturday.  We have some amazing small businesses in Southie and we should try to spend as much of our Christmas budget locally as possible.  Thriving businesses are needed for a thriving community, so this Saturday why not walk up and down Broadway, pick up a few gifts, and reward your good behavior with some Sullivan’s before it closes for the winter? 

Hopefully I’ll see you out and about!